Need, greed & entitlement

Need (all by Merriam-Webster)
1 : necessary duty : obligation
2 a : a lack of something requisite, desirable, or useful
b : a physiological or psychological requirement for the well-being of an organism
3 : a condition requiring supply or relief
4 : lack of the means of subsistence

Greed
: a selfish and excessive desire for more of something (as money) than is needed

Entitlement
1 a : the state or condition of being entitled : right
b : a right to benefits specified especially by law or contract
2 : a government program providing benefits to members of a specified group; also : funds supporting or distributed by such a program
3 : belief that one is deserving of or entitled to certain privileges

I've always loved beautiful things, and for some strange reason, my definition of beautiful is a synonym for expensive. After my break-up couple of years ago, I discovered the joys of travelling. And even though I scour the internet for the cheapest flights and cheap, but habitable hotels, 4 trips a year just is way too much money for my income. Not to mention the shopping done on those trips.

I own my apartment and I hate it for some reason (too small, noisy neighbours, not the best location after all etc), so I desperately want to get rid of my debt accumulated by shopping/travelling to be able to buy and renovate a better place for myself.

I really do not need all the expensive things I have and crave, but it's soooo difficult to go back to "the regular stuff". So me wanting a SD might be just my greediness? Do I feel entitled to the finer things in life? That's another question altogether. I'm just so used to it.

I've never been an overachiever nor career-oriented. I've enjoyed life as it comes and never really worried about the future. Now that I've decided to go this path in life for time being, is it possible I would start to loathe myself for doing this? But then why would I hate myself for being with a man that I care about, even if it's short term? How would I explain my suddenly active social life to my friends and family? Do I really care about social standards, the norms, as long as I'm happy? Am I able not to think about the wives? Only time will tell, really.

Lot of questions, but I guess that's the way this is going to be, at least in the beginning of my sugar life.

What is your motivation for searching sugar relationship?