Still waiting... waiting....

Ok I'm pretty annoyed at the moment. Yeah haha the perfect time to blog =) Things with MrEccentric are going nowhere. Now he's tied up with some emergency stuff in another part of the world. All our plans fall apart and WE STILL HAVE NOT MET! I'm this close to saying goodbye and he knows it. We have had some serious discussions about the situation, but still both of us would want to see it till the end. Even if it is killing us.

I have mixed feelings as we didn't meet on a sugar site, so basically how to bring up the subject of money? As in I'm pretty much spending all my extra money on phone bills, so now I've started to only email him as that costs me nothing even on my mobile. He says he'll take care of me, but obviously not before we actually are together. So far I have only hinted on my situation and if he starts asking about "why only emails", I'll just say it as it is. Let's see his reaction then.

I haven't searched for sugar for couple of months, thank you MrFckingEccentric, but placed an ad yesterday. A girl has to do what a girl has to do. And once again local men leave me baffled. So I am not a professional, I am a lady looking for a generous boyfriend who would take care of me because I want to spend time with him and make him happy. And they think I deserve less than an escort? WTF? I would dedicate my time just for you and you expect me to be happy with a pittance compared to the professional, who has sex with tens if not hundreds of men every month? Sorry if I get annoyed, but seriously?!?! WTF is the logic of that?

Creatures of the night

I live my everyday life as if nothing ever happens and feel like an outsider among the people I know. I meet men for lunch/coffee/drinks after work, and they stare at me like wolves, perhaps I just imagine the saliva dripping from their mouths. The engineers, CEOs, CFOs, business owners, sales men. I'm charming, smiling and efficient, ask about their hopes and say out loud my wishes in euros looking them straight in the eye. And then for once you feel the butterflies and eyes lock for the split second and it feels all right again.

Once upon a time...

...I was surfing bag & shoe porn on the PurseForum and stumbled on a picture of a girl in her early 20's posing in a hotel lobby with a man in his 50's. Photo caption said something like "Me with my daddy at xxx". OK she had her skyhigh Loubies, black Chanel 2.55 and a nice skimpy shiny dress and my first reaction was oh wow, but of course there are SBs on tPF =D

Drama free?

The men want drama free fun. I don't know but I have a feeling that fun is all they're gonna get with some girls... Ok it's so easy to exaggerate online as nobody else knows the truth, but some of the recent incidents in the sugarworld has left me a bit miffed. I may be too old for this shit. I may be too serious or think too much.

But who cares, I still believe there is someone for me, too. Someone is going to appreciate having me as their oasis in the storm, relieved to have genuinely drama free companionship.

Stay safe.

Ripe tomatoes are the juiciest

Loved Eden's comment on my last blog: I am not a sugar baby, I am a novice courtesan. Reading her comment it dawned on me, that's something I have thrived for all along. To be a trusted and respected mistress of an affluent and powerful man. For me that's pretty much the same as a sugar baby, just with more life experience under my belt. And the outcome is just the same, compensation for the time and affection of a lady.

Hopefully the gentleman I'm meeting on Wednesday will qualify, then I would have the two regular benefactors all lined up and I could stop searching for a while. MrEnergy sent a lovely thank you note on Sunday night, he's already planning our next meeting. So sweet...

New layout - what do you think?

Blogger has some new exciting layouts to choose from, I'm having tons of fun trying out different colour schemes. What do you think of the new look of my little diary?

Tomato is a tomahto is a tomatho

I have had interesting discussions about my experiment of a SB posing as an escort. Haha yeah, am I clever or what =D I don't know if it is a cultural thing, sugar baby/daddy -concept is quite unknown up here. And still it is exactly what they are looking for. They want the continuity, chemistry, getting to know you better and so on. They want to see once or twice a month for dinners, theatre, art exhibitions and so forth. They want to talk and cuddle, feel wanted. They send me their pictures to make sure I like them. In a way I understand them not wanting to pay in advance, there are not that many millionaires around here. They are just regular guys earning a bit more than the average joe.

Of course most of those who have sent me messages are looking for a fling. I'm still baffled why do these old married men think a woman would want to date them intentionally for nothing? Sure there are plenty of women wanting something on the side (so go to a bar to find those skanks, loser), but I try to use discreet codewords in my ads to make sure they understand I'm not one of those ladies. That's surprisingly difficult as the sites I use have blocked some words like support, upkeep, assistance.

In my reply to these potential clients (does that sound too harsh?), I have outlined quite specifically what I offer and what I expect. I need the chemistry, I'm not a professional, we need to feel the spark and the meetings must be as natural as with a regular girlfriend. I'm not coming to meet someone in a hotel room for an hour, I'm too classy for that, and I wish it to become long term relationship. And the money, I'm asking waaaaay more than an escort. If I can find 2-3 charming gentleman, who want to meet me once a month, I would make almost the same as a SB whose daddy might want to hook up every week. Not a bad situation in my opinion. Maybe a bit transactional, but I sure as hell am not selling myself short, do the math.

And the pot in Amsterdam. When I brought up the sugar, he got all surprised I had a business plan on mind, he thought covering the weekend trips was it. Umm, we met on SDFM.com, mister. I replied very politely reminding him about that fact and that he would make some regular woman from match.com very very happy. His answer? "Why are you so rude? I can get hookers easier than this, I'm not desperate, you will die a very bitter woman.". Oh well, all the best to you, too =D

thank you Butterfly for the title of this post =)

I love shopping, but oh boy, am I impossible or what...

My motto is simply: Less is more, but only the best is good enough. With this in mind, I've been able to curb my shopping. It is so much more satisfying to buy fewer things, but things that I really want and have dreamt about.

I used to be almost a hoarder, I loved jumble sales, any sale. I had boxes after boxes of china, knick knacks, shoes, clothes with tags still on, you name it, I had it... But now for the last two years I have systematically gotten rid of most of the old stuff. I've held parties for my friends and they have taken home whatever they wanted. Some of the stuff I've sold on the local site equivalent to Ebay and then the rest got donated to charity. And good riddance, haven't missed any of it! It's an amazingly purifying experience.

I still do love shopping, but it's not compulsive anymore. I'm able to plan ahead and stick to my plan. I'm not buying anything just because it's nice to shop, but the new purchase needs to fit into my plan. Sadly this is not saving me any money, as I buy more expensive things now. How on earth did I become a Queen like this? =D

To turn this confessional into sugar talk, I'm afraid my very exact wishes would make it it impossible for a SD to spoil me with surprise gifts. I love shoes, but I know exactly what shoes I need. I love Hermès, but again, I need only certain items (and in certain colours..). I would love to build a lovely collection of jewellery, but I'm very specific what pieces I would wear. To draw you a picture; the last thing I have bought (apart from groceries, necessary cosmetics and tights etc) is a pair of Tod's flats in February. Yeap, you read it right, February.

In other words, I'm not starting from a scratch on this path of luxuries, I already have beautiful things, so would my quite refined wishlist be too much for a SD? I don't want to come across as too demanding, I just don't need anything extra to clutter my life and closets.

How have you resolved the question about gifts and your wishes with your SD/potential?

Beauty is only skin deep

I'm still trapped at home. Went to see my regular doctor in the morning and finally got a diagnosis, proper meds AND sick leave for the rest of the week. Hopefully I'm feeling better soon, so I can take some pictures. And that got me thinking, once again...

What kind of pictures? I'd prefer very simple and stylish portrait like pics, something that represents me as truthfully as possible, meaning I'd be in a dress & heels. The two pics below show a couple of outfits a SD would actually see on a date.But would that be too boring on a profile, not tempting enough? Is showing skin the only thing that attracts men? Would that tempt the wrong kind of men? I am a lady after all.. I've never dressed obviously sexy or revealing, I like to hint and tease, so semi-nude pics could make me uncomfortable (I'm not saying being in my underwear makes me uncomfortable, oh no, that's another story..).

What do you think? Are pics of a SB in sexy lingerie a MUST?

MIA, but soon back on track

I've been down with the flu, and I mean really down. Had to go to the doctor yesterday and got some meds to ease my breathing and cure the cough. It's still going to take a couple of days to fully recover, I'm soooo tired... Between sleeping, coughing, blowing my nose, surfing the net and did I already say sleeping, I've had some clearer moments to think about my sugar situation.

I've decided to ditch the few potentials I have at the moment (including Smoothie), as I'm really not feeling the real desire to date them. And without the chemistry, it would be just like selling myself. No thank you.

Obviously I'm not very photogenic with my runny nose, so taking photos for the profiles on international sites has been postponed. And it doesn't matter, I've decided to whip myself back on track and to lose a couple of kilos during April. I don't know, maybe the general chatter about skinny young girls has gotten into me, but somehow I need to make the combination of my years, figure and style to work for my best and make myself feel like a million bucks. Not to mention it's summer soon, time for the sexy, skimpy dresses! I've also made appointments to hairdresser and teeth whitening.

When I resume my search, I'll be ready and literally glowing!

I have one guy from January's search still texting me every now and then. I have suggested lunches and other meetings, but he never responds. He texted me again yesterday, "How has your Easter been?". Me: "I've been ill for a week, feeling a bit down. A trip to Paris might cheer me up.". His answer: "Let's go then!". Oh well, I'm not crossing my fingers...

What a liberating feeling

I've been single for some time now and naturally I have been looking for a boyfriend. Not actively and all the time, but just looking around and having a profile on a dating site etc. But as Caramel quite poiqnantly stated, most of the guys you meet are unappreciative losers. Dating leaves you empty and disappointed, is it really like this? Are the all so self-centered? All the men seem to be pigs and you lose perspective. You slowly get cynical...

Now that I'm sugar dating, the whole thing has a completely new meaning! I haven't met this wonderful and interesting men in years! They are genuinely interested in me and my thoughts, they are eager to please and keep me happy. They want me to like them. Of course they want the best bang for their buck, so they treat me good! ...or is that my cynicism talking?

Too bad they are all married, but that leaves me wondering what's wrong with the wives? What's wrong with the men? Of course years of marriage and the same routines dull everything and the feelings get lost, but I would really want the wives to play the singles' game for a little while. They sure as hell would appreciate their husbands after that (and sugar dating would be sooooo slow).

I have a feeling that this experience will teach me a lot about men, about my own conceptions and dating in general, why on earth didn't I think of this earlier... (as I've wondered before)

What have you learned about men by sugar dating?

Need, greed & entitlement

Need (all by Merriam-Webster)
1 : necessary duty : obligation
2 a : a lack of something requisite, desirable, or useful
b : a physiological or psychological requirement for the well-being of an organism
3 : a condition requiring supply or relief
4 : lack of the means of subsistence

Greed
: a selfish and excessive desire for more of something (as money) than is needed

Entitlement
1 a : the state or condition of being entitled : right
b : a right to benefits specified especially by law or contract
2 : a government program providing benefits to members of a specified group; also : funds supporting or distributed by such a program
3 : belief that one is deserving of or entitled to certain privileges

I've always loved beautiful things, and for some strange reason, my definition of beautiful is a synonym for expensive. After my break-up couple of years ago, I discovered the joys of travelling. And even though I scour the internet for the cheapest flights and cheap, but habitable hotels, 4 trips a year just is way too much money for my income. Not to mention the shopping done on those trips.

I own my apartment and I hate it for some reason (too small, noisy neighbours, not the best location after all etc), so I desperately want to get rid of my debt accumulated by shopping/travelling to be able to buy and renovate a better place for myself.

I really do not need all the expensive things I have and crave, but it's soooo difficult to go back to "the regular stuff". So me wanting a SD might be just my greediness? Do I feel entitled to the finer things in life? That's another question altogether. I'm just so used to it.

I've never been an overachiever nor career-oriented. I've enjoyed life as it comes and never really worried about the future. Now that I've decided to go this path in life for time being, is it possible I would start to loathe myself for doing this? But then why would I hate myself for being with a man that I care about, even if it's short term? How would I explain my suddenly active social life to my friends and family? Do I really care about social standards, the norms, as long as I'm happy? Am I able not to think about the wives? Only time will tell, really.

Lot of questions, but I guess that's the way this is going to be, at least in the beginning of my sugar life.

What is your motivation for searching sugar relationship?

Oh my SmoothieSD

On Saturday evening I talked on the phone with the potSD, who wasn't interested in e-mailing, but wanted to meet quite soon. Always a good sign. Oh his voice was smooth as velvet, he's 50 and divorced but lives with his child. He's looking for a relaxed companion to travel and spend time with when he's got free time, he loves a stylish woman with some naughtiness hidden under the businesslike outfit and voilà, that's me! He loves lingerie and spoiling his woman with all the pleasures a man can offer. We also had a similar sense of humour and he too thought my voice was verrry sexy. So far so good.

The conversation was very, very pleasant. But I was surprised by my own reaction on his wish for me to be exclusive, if we go on with the arrangement. Why am I so reluctant to do that? Could I really be able to give my time and attention to two different men? Am I looking for an affair or would it feel like that, if we are exclusive? Would I eventually hurt myself by starting to think we are in a serious relationship and not in a arrangement, if I give all my sugar time to him? And reaching my goals would be slower with just one allowance..

Well, we'll see if the the chemistry and spark exist when we meet next week, and I have heard his budget. For the right man and for the right amount, why not...

What is your preference, just one special, whole package SD or two darlings with different kinds of sugar to offer?

One + one = three

I've been pondering about the amount of time and attention I would be able to give to my future SD. I work fulltime, so that makes it a bit harder to be there for him whenever, where ever he would want me to be. I don't have any qualms on getting days off from work for travelling every now and then, I would be compensated for that, of course.

Then I've been thinking about my goals and how much money I would need to invest. Those calculations say pretty clearly I need two SD's. That would be ok with me, as long as I find two wonderful and not too needy guys. There are so many variables and you never know beforehand. Now I'll try not to think too much, I firmly believe the best things in life just happen. Finding an interesting and committed SD is my first priority and then everything just falls into place.

Or am I being too naive?

Renewed my ad yesterday and got about 10 "good" replies. Let's see how many answers I get for my e-mails explaining the situation better...

Perfect match SD

We all probably have an idea of a perfect SD in our heads. I've had some stupid expectations about men when younger, but nowadays I'm not that black and white anymore. The looks are not that important anymore (even though would make me weak at the knees, sure). Compatibility and similar sense of humour are way more important, but I do admit sometimes it's difficult to see behind the physical side.

I've been on too many dates that are pure agony from the second you meet. No chemistry = no nothing. I admit being a bit shallow and materialistic, so I easily condemn a person because of his style of clothes, haircut, unkempt nails etc. But now with a goal in mind, I've been a lot more open to differences without compromising anything of real importance, of course, and the chemistry is still the most important thing. Just like regular dating, you just know who's right for you.

TallBlondSD hasn't replied to my thank you note. HottieSD just sent a note saying how sorry he is that our second meeting gets postponed time after time. Next week he'll be away somewhere again, but on Friday he might be able to sneak out for drinks. Let's hope so. OlderGentSD and SF SD haven't returned my e-mails, but they're both on business trips, so I'm not going to say they've poofed (yet).

This spring will be sugary, I'm sure of it =)

The lonely weekends and suddenly... two pots!

The thing I must get used to are the lonely weekends. Of course I'll meet my friends and family, but with sugar dating, the weekends are off-limit with married men. On the other hand it's a very good deal, it's my own time and I don't have to worry that some SD would get upset of not being in touch. Ok, I don't even have a SD yet, but still...

So on Saturday I went shopping with a friend and we had a bottle of wine with lunch, naughty us. On Sunday I just lounged in my PJ's, vacuumed and washed the laundry. And went to check a chat room known to attract "this kind of business".

And oh my, what did I find! First I chatted with a gentleman from my hometown, he's 58, single, been divorced for 3 years and wants to meet on the weekends, as on the weekdays he's just too busy. He would love to take me on weekend get-aways (oh Paris, here I come), go to the theatre, see art exhibitions, wine & dine me. And most importantly, spoil me rotten. All the things I love! But as it seems to be a pattern for me, he left on a business trip today and will be back on Saturday next week. He promised to e-mail me next week and we'll set up a date for Sunday. He was a bit hesitant with the allowance, but was very willing to contribute otherwise, so why not let him buy me things I really need and would buy with the allowance anyway. Let's see how this goes.

Then later today I talked with a very sophisticated gentleman living in San Francisco, he visits my hometown once a month and travels all over Europe regularly. He would love to fly me to where ever he's in Europe and occasionally to New York and SF. Oh the dream! And every time he's in town, he stays at the most luxurious hotel in the city, ooh I love it already. We said bye bye's amicably and he definitely wants to meet me when he's in town in April.

Oh how I hope neither one of them poofs on me before we have met!

The tricky art of allowance

As I realized the arrangement really could come true with HottieSD, I started to panic about the allowance discussion. I know the formula, rent + bills + some extra, but what then. What about if he wants to see me twice a week? What about this and that... I know what sum would cover my living expences, I have read the blogs, searched the archives and still I'm stumped. Thankfully Lily helped me out again. All I can do carefully ask about his budget and go from there. I can't be too greedy as it might drive him away and I really would prefer a longterm arrangement. Once again, the chemistry has to be there, otherwise I couldn't be with him anyway. I'm not starving, so I don't need to be desperate for money.

So I did what I always do when in doubt, I take my notebook and write down a plan. Once a week = xxxx euros, twice a week = xxxx euros, and so on. This really cleared my head and I can confidently talk about money with the pots. And yes, I shredded the pages =)

Age does not matter

I am 38 and it isn't a bad thing in the sugar world. Quite a few men love more mature women, as I have found out to my own surprise. The stereotype SB is usually portrayed to be an innocent girl in her twenties, but not everyone fancy that, and good for me! I market myself quite openly as a stylish and elegant lady whom can be taken to any event. I dress reasonably classic, dresses, jackets and pumps, I love jewellery and luxurious handbags. I never leave the house without my Hermès. I've worked as an executive assistant and men love hearing it, as I describe how I can woo everyone with my radiant smile, impeccable manners and the ability to handle any tricky situation with aplomb.

First ad and what happened then

I put up an ad on the site Lily had suggested. It consists mostly of ads from callgirls and escorts, but a well written and a bit different ad sure got some attention. I made clear I'm looking for a longterm, mutually beneficial relationship and not a romp in a hotel room. Needless to say, most of the answers were from johns wanting just that. Some men clearly understood what I was looking for, but were hesitant of the allowance part of the deal. Most of them poofed, as I need an allowance daddy, not a gift daddy. Gifts are nice, but I need to pay off a couple of debts first.

Getting to meet the potentials is tricky, most of them poof, if not because of the allowance, then just because. I just can't see the reason why on earth they are on a site like that looking for a mistress and then not want to meet one, even if they are satified with my pictures and the phone conversation has been lovely? Go figure. So I got maybe 20 replies and all but one poofed. Poof!

Looking for love... or something else?

I have been single for couple of years and all the guys I have met are complete losers. They want nothing else but sex, most of them are scared to death of commitment and a real relationship. Then on the other hand there are guys who want to have kids and a family, not my cup of tea, either. So late last year I decided to take the faith in my own hands and find myself a rich and attentive husband, who wants to spoil me and make my life easier.

I live alone, so the mortage and the bills are killing me. I work fulltime, but the job is nothing but crap and gives no satisfaction whatsoever. I love expensive bags, shoes & accessories. I love fine dining and travelling. All that takes quite a strain on my finances, so hell, let's find a rich husband. Quite soon I realized it's a lot more difficult to accomplish. Those perfect princes are are very, very rare. And let's face it, I'm not in my twenties. And I probably couldn't handle a possessive man with 24/7 needs.

So what's a girl to do? Let's find a SugarDaddy.