Comings and goings

Rejection is inevitable and I'm not going to let that effect my spirits. Onwards with the search!

The chat room is filled with johns. Discussions usually go like this after the initial conversation about our expectations and hopes for an arrangement
Me: So in what ways would you be willing to support your mistress?
Him: Take you to lovely dinners, spend quality time together at my summer house, give you massages etc.
Me: As I said before, I would be happier with some direct financial support, so I'd able to spend the time with you and not worry about my bills.
Him: But that's awkward, I would rather spoil you with gifts.
Me: Ok, thank you and good luck with your search!
Him: wtf?

But every now and then you might meet a potential SD. Met a new one again yesterday and we're meeting on Saturday at an art gallery to see an exhibition and then go to an early dinner after that. He is coming to town especially to meet me and he sounded like a true gentleman, but I don't expect much before I see him in person.

Otherwise nothing sugary to report. I don't remember who said on some other site that new SB-blogs about searching for a SD are popping up quite often. That's true and I love them, but would love to read the other side of the story, too.

Have any of you found good SD-blogs?

EDIT at 5 PM

Ok I was a bad, baaaad kitty today and chased pots online instead of getting some work done.. Two new potentials surfaced and already talked to one of them on the phone. He might be a bit too interested in kinky stuff. I have nothing against it, but he was so keen on it. Must try to talk about it in a way that makes him reveal his real agenda and then I can decide if I want to end things before they've even started.

AND Smoothie texts asking what's up. Ahem dude, YOU were supposed to get back to me during weekend and to set up a date for this week, I thought you had poofed. Hmmm, is he submissive and I need to call the shots? Let's find out ;)

Frustration is in the air

I'm back from the ski resort with aching thighs and bloated body. Oh the amount of food and drink was soooooooo over the top. During the 3 days I skied like 3 hours and the rest of the time was spent in different styles of after ski. With a glass in my hand. April is so going to be no alcohol and only veggies -month. The potential was unable to meet me there, he was too busy with his own guests. And both Smoothie and Hottie have disappeared despite the promised dates this week.

BUT one pot I met yesterday in a chat room called me exactly at noon just as he promised. Good sign! He sounded very nice and we hit it off immediately. We'll meet for lunch on Wednesday, so let's keep fingers crossed! Maybe my frustration is shortlived and this neverending winter ends with some sugar in my direction...

To be or not to be... on SA.com

I don't have a profile on SA.com yet, as I've searched for sugar in my own country. Ok my search has taken only about 2 months, but I'm already getting a bit impatient. I have a couple of serious potentials lined up, but nothing seems to materialize. One of my goals is to see the world, so why not broaden my horizons and set up the profile anyway. There's nothing to lose.

And ta-daa, the questions arise. I feel the need to use completely different alias than this blog persona. I haven't written anything too serious here, but still it would bother me knowing they know, ykwim. And it wouldn't be fun at all if I couldn't write openly about the adventures to you =)

Then on the other hand on a chat forum couple of experienced SD's were quite open about the fact that me being in Europe and a first timer, is a big no no to some SD's. Too much to teach, too far away and what not. I could argue that my age has given me a little bit of perspective and I'm definitely not naive, but the distance cannot be denied. So I better find an European SD, as I could be whisked away anywhere in Europe in 2-3 hours. Not the end of the world really?

So now I'm off to think about a new name, the title to the profile, what kind of a man I'm looking for and what kind of photos to take. Any tips are welcome!

Have you been rejected due to a long distance?

Ooops, I'm alive!

Sorry about the blog silence, been busy with work and then I got myself an iPhone and that's one addictive little toy! I've played with it for two evenings now and my eyes are bleeding...

But one mini-goal is in the making, I uploaded French lesson podcasts on it and now I can start brushing up my French! I studied it at school some decades ago (hah) and decided now it's time to learn it better, as I love Paris and travel there a couple of times year, so isn't it a bit rude not to speak their language. To my own surprise I understood quite well the first podcast! Now I need a French or Canadian SD ;)

Tomorrow I'm off to a ski resort with some business partners. I hate snow, I hate skiing, so the weekend will be filled with after ski activities. Wish me luck! If they make me ski, I'll promise to take a picture =D

What a change of mind

SmoothieSD cancelled our next week's meeting as he's off to an unexpected business trip. But he definitely wants to meet as soon as possible, so we'll set up a new date on Easter week. And this gets more curious every time we talk on the phone. First he insisted on me being exclusive. Then it was ok if I have another SD, but he wants me to be honest and let him know. And now, now he wants me to have another SD, so I could tell him everything we do together. Suits me fine, I love a little bit of dirty talking...

What unusual requests have you encountered?

Adventure on my mind

Yesterday the train back home was full and we decided to stand at the bar for the whole 2 hours journey. And I remembered a dream I hopefully can fulfill one day. A journey on The Orient Express! I have always loved Agatha Christie's novels and how the mysteries more often than not happened on an exotic journey or location. So perhaps a cruise on the Nile, too? Weekend at the luxurious English castle turned into a spa? A girl can dream... Slowly, but surely I'm collecting all the books she's written.

HottieSD e-mailed me after I thought he had poofed, he's still interested but the next meet will happen around Easter. Quite obviously that arrangement could be turned into travelling adventures, as the whole world is his playground and he never has time when he's in town. So I'll be patient.

What are dreaming about right now?

Friday night at home (again)

I love the quiet Friday evenings at home after a tiring week of work. I'll probably fall asleep in a minute when my head hits the pillow, and to ensure that, I just poured myself a glass of wine. But of course a goal oriented sugarbaby surfs the sites for new opportunities even when a bit worn down. And touch dowwnnnnnn again.

Met a 40+ year old music business exec in a chat room and after about 20 minutes, talked on the phone with him. He needs a mistress, someone pretty to take to the concerts or dinners, to cool off with, but someone who does not fall in love with him. He was already late for some function, but we'll talk more tomorrow and meet early next week, if not on Sunday. My voice seems to be my best feature, it's velvety husky and sexy and the guys can't wait to meet me.

Too bad they seem to poof after meeting me, haven't heard a beeb from any of the potentials, crap. Need to think about that and adjust my behaviour...

Do you have any sugar plans for the weekend?

What a liberating feeling

I've been single for some time now and naturally I have been looking for a boyfriend. Not actively and all the time, but just looking around and having a profile on a dating site etc. But as Caramel quite poiqnantly stated, most of the guys you meet are unappreciative losers. Dating leaves you empty and disappointed, is it really like this? Are the all so self-centered? All the men seem to be pigs and you lose perspective. You slowly get cynical...

Now that I'm sugar dating, the whole thing has a completely new meaning! I haven't met this wonderful and interesting men in years! They are genuinely interested in me and my thoughts, they are eager to please and keep me happy. They want me to like them. Of course they want the best bang for their buck, so they treat me good! ...or is that my cynicism talking?

Too bad they are all married, but that leaves me wondering what's wrong with the wives? What's wrong with the men? Of course years of marriage and the same routines dull everything and the feelings get lost, but I would really want the wives to play the singles' game for a little while. They sure as hell would appreciate their husbands after that (and sugar dating would be sooooo slow).

I have a feeling that this experience will teach me a lot about men, about my own conceptions and dating in general, why on earth didn't I think of this earlier... (as I've wondered before)

What have you learned about men by sugar dating?

First date and an arrangement on the making!

SmoothieSD e-mailed yesterday, he had forgotten his cellphone in the office, that's why I couldn't reach him the other day. Our date on Monday went very well (despite his bad breath), we just laughed and talked about the serious stuff. He was so easy to be with and the things we would do together fit my bill exactly. So we talked again on the phone yesterday evening and set up a date for next week to start the arrangement! Wohoo! No more talk about a free testdrive or being exclusive, he just wants me to be honest with him. He thinks I'm the sexiest woman he's met for some time, always a good thing to say to a woman ;) I can't wait, he got me all hot & bothered on the phone, he sure knows how to talk to me... We'll talk more on the weekend, let's hope he doesn't back out then. But I'm optimistic, he seems to be honest and sincere. But oh my, if this goes through, I'M IN AN ARRANGEMENT!

The new potential I met in a chat room on Monday and had lunch with yesterday, was one of those guys that I'm not sure what to think. Let's call him Shortie, as he was shorter than me and I'm 5'5", but he had a BMW convertible and I'm a sucker for convertibles.. He dressed a bit flashy and I myself am quite a subtle dresser, but that probably can be handled with a bit of shopping together. We hit it off nicely and he was genuinely interested about me and what would we do together. He could teach me to golf and take me sailing next summer (too bad I'm afraid of water...). We'll talk more later this week, let's see how my perception of him might change. Oh the car... *sigh*

Would I be too picky and plain silly if I dumped Shortie because of his height or Smoothie because of bad breath, even if everything else checks out?

Oh the never ending needs

With the goal on my mind (the debt, the debt..), I still make wishlists in my mind. I love lists and have countless lists and plans in my notebook, so why not show one of them to you.

The needs of this wannabe SB
- a new bed: the old one is too old and squeeky
- lamps and area rugs to my apartment: I shouldn't ignore my surroundings even if I hate the place
- gym membership: haven't gone to the gym for ages, so now is the time to rekindle this love, maybe I'll get membership to one of the VIP gyms in town
- dentist appointment: I really need to check my teeth and preferably have them whitened
- digital camera to take with me on my numerous trips with my SD ;)
- new mobile phone: I need to be available in style, right
- sunglasses with prescription lenses

Let's talk about the shoes a bit later =)

Smoothie decided to poof after our first meet yesterday. Or who knows did he poof or not, but later when I tried calling at the time we agreed on, his cell phone was off. And now he's sending texts like ";)". One thing that irked me was him insisting a test drive before the arrangement. He would have paid for my time, but that would have been too "escorty" to my liking. And his breath smelled bad, he really should see a dentist...

TallBlond has probably poofed, not a word since my latest message confirming my wish to meet him again, too.

Hottie has disappeared, as well. This disappoints me the most, I really thought we had a connection, but he himself maybe got fed up with his own timetables constantly changing and having to postpone our second meet time after time. If he resurfaces, I'll greet him warmly and with open arms (almost said thighs, but ahem)...

But all is well in this sugar home, I'm on my way to meet a new potential, he's quite handsome, divorced and sounded very charming on the phone. I'll report about that later.

What is the most urgent/needed materialistic thing on your list?

Need, greed & entitlement

Need (all by Merriam-Webster)
1 : necessary duty : obligation
2 a : a lack of something requisite, desirable, or useful
b : a physiological or psychological requirement for the well-being of an organism
3 : a condition requiring supply or relief
4 : lack of the means of subsistence

Greed
: a selfish and excessive desire for more of something (as money) than is needed

Entitlement
1 a : the state or condition of being entitled : right
b : a right to benefits specified especially by law or contract
2 : a government program providing benefits to members of a specified group; also : funds supporting or distributed by such a program
3 : belief that one is deserving of or entitled to certain privileges

I've always loved beautiful things, and for some strange reason, my definition of beautiful is a synonym for expensive. After my break-up couple of years ago, I discovered the joys of travelling. And even though I scour the internet for the cheapest flights and cheap, but habitable hotels, 4 trips a year just is way too much money for my income. Not to mention the shopping done on those trips.

I own my apartment and I hate it for some reason (too small, noisy neighbours, not the best location after all etc), so I desperately want to get rid of my debt accumulated by shopping/travelling to be able to buy and renovate a better place for myself.

I really do not need all the expensive things I have and crave, but it's soooo difficult to go back to "the regular stuff". So me wanting a SD might be just my greediness? Do I feel entitled to the finer things in life? That's another question altogether. I'm just so used to it.

I've never been an overachiever nor career-oriented. I've enjoyed life as it comes and never really worried about the future. Now that I've decided to go this path in life for time being, is it possible I would start to loathe myself for doing this? But then why would I hate myself for being with a man that I care about, even if it's short term? How would I explain my suddenly active social life to my friends and family? Do I really care about social standards, the norms, as long as I'm happy? Am I able not to think about the wives? Only time will tell, really.

Lot of questions, but I guess that's the way this is going to be, at least in the beginning of my sugar life.

What is your motivation for searching sugar relationship?

Oh my SmoothieSD

On Saturday evening I talked on the phone with the potSD, who wasn't interested in e-mailing, but wanted to meet quite soon. Always a good sign. Oh his voice was smooth as velvet, he's 50 and divorced but lives with his child. He's looking for a relaxed companion to travel and spend time with when he's got free time, he loves a stylish woman with some naughtiness hidden under the businesslike outfit and voilà, that's me! He loves lingerie and spoiling his woman with all the pleasures a man can offer. We also had a similar sense of humour and he too thought my voice was verrry sexy. So far so good.

The conversation was very, very pleasant. But I was surprised by my own reaction on his wish for me to be exclusive, if we go on with the arrangement. Why am I so reluctant to do that? Could I really be able to give my time and attention to two different men? Am I looking for an affair or would it feel like that, if we are exclusive? Would I eventually hurt myself by starting to think we are in a serious relationship and not in a arrangement, if I give all my sugar time to him? And reaching my goals would be slower with just one allowance..

Well, we'll see if the the chemistry and spark exist when we meet next week, and I have heard his budget. For the right man and for the right amount, why not...

What is your preference, just one special, whole package SD or two darlings with different kinds of sugar to offer?

New beginnings and boredom at home

I fell ill last night, so now I'm facing a lonely and agonizing weekend at home. And that means only one thing, endless hours of idle surfing on the Internet. I won't post actual photos of myself, but not long ago I found this site www.looklet.com, where you are able to build amazing outfits in front of array of backrounds. So here am I, in a dress and heels with a lovely bag, my usual attire. Try it out, it's addicting! Click on the pic to enlarge it.Then I got two nice surprises this morning when I opened my e-mail. One potSD that has been MIA for two weeks, sent a note asking if I'd still be interested. He poofed after I refused to let him come to my apartment on the first date, but now he himself suggested a lunch next week. I will give him the benefit of a doubt, as he sounds very sincere and he has been in an arrangement before, so no need to explain it from the beginning.

One of the pots that answered my latest ad sent a reply to my message about what kind of an affair I'm looking for, and wants to meet me for lunch next week to talk more. Love it when he doesn't want to chit chat with endless e-mails, but wants to see if we have the chemistry needed. Plus my four figure allowance didn't scare him (didn't write any exact amount, just the ballpark of my wishes).

Just hoping some of these negotiations would actually materialize, lunches are nice, meeting marvelous gentlemen is nice, but I really need my dose of TLC. It's been too long since the last hugs & kisses...

I have an attitude?

I had e-mailed with one busy businessman for a couple of days and suggested lunch on Monday or Tuesday. He then asks what about today.

Me: Today's good, what about This Location (between us, easy to reach for both of us)?
Him: So you don't understand my wish for secrecy? Let me pick you up from your work.
Me: Of course I do and will do anything to ensure it, but I'd rather see at a cafe. I don't feel comfortable getting into a stranger's car.
Him: But I'm not a stranger, come on, let's go for a ride and talk.
Me: I'm sorry but I wish to see you in a public place, and if we cannot do that at all, it kinda baffles me how we could have an arrangement in the first place, you know I'm not an escort.
Him: Well I'm not asking you for a handjob, though that would be nice, of course.
Me: I would appreciate you understanding we're meeting for the first time.
Him: Well come to This Place (near his office, where it would take me an hour to get) then and we'll talk in the parked car.
Me: Maybe we should end this conversation now, as I'm not a callgirl. Have a nice weekend & good luck to your search!
Him: Thanks a lot, what a f**ng attitude is that for a hooker?
Me: *DELETE*

On more positive note, TallBlondSD sent a message and asked about my agenda for next week, he'd been very busy and out of town and apologized for a delayed reply. Yayyy =)

One + one = three

I've been pondering about the amount of time and attention I would be able to give to my future SD. I work fulltime, so that makes it a bit harder to be there for him whenever, where ever he would want me to be. I don't have any qualms on getting days off from work for travelling every now and then, I would be compensated for that, of course.

Then I've been thinking about my goals and how much money I would need to invest. Those calculations say pretty clearly I need two SD's. That would be ok with me, as long as I find two wonderful and not too needy guys. There are so many variables and you never know beforehand. Now I'll try not to think too much, I firmly believe the best things in life just happen. Finding an interesting and committed SD is my first priority and then everything just falls into place.

Or am I being too naive?

Renewed my ad yesterday and got about 10 "good" replies. Let's see how many answers I get for my e-mails explaining the situation better...

Perfect match SD

We all probably have an idea of a perfect SD in our heads. I've had some stupid expectations about men when younger, but nowadays I'm not that black and white anymore. The looks are not that important anymore (even though would make me weak at the knees, sure). Compatibility and similar sense of humour are way more important, but I do admit sometimes it's difficult to see behind the physical side.

I've been on too many dates that are pure agony from the second you meet. No chemistry = no nothing. I admit being a bit shallow and materialistic, so I easily condemn a person because of his style of clothes, haircut, unkempt nails etc. But now with a goal in mind, I've been a lot more open to differences without compromising anything of real importance, of course, and the chemistry is still the most important thing. Just like regular dating, you just know who's right for you.

TallBlondSD hasn't replied to my thank you note. HottieSD just sent a note saying how sorry he is that our second meeting gets postponed time after time. Next week he'll be away somewhere again, but on Friday he might be able to sneak out for drinks. Let's hope so. OlderGentSD and SF SD haven't returned my e-mails, but they're both on business trips, so I'm not going to say they've poofed (yet).

This spring will be sugary, I'm sure of it =)

Lunch with TallBlondSD

Just wow. It was so worth the wait... He was just as amazing and polite as I imagined, if not even more so. Very handsome and distinguised with a charming smile. I was greeted with cheek kisses and got his business card, and the conversation was light and flowing from the beginning. We talked about our hopes and interests, he talked very openly about his businesses. And now I understand what a mentor really means. He fits the bill perfectly. Our expectations for an arrangement were similar, basically he needs a special someone with whom to learn how to relax, talk about everything under the sun and someone to feel passionate about.

Before departing, he expressed his wish to get to know me better and to talk how to proceed, so we'll set up a date for later this week or early next week. He definitely left me shaken and stirred. And waiting for more... Just wow.

Hi, nice to meet you

Welcome to my blog. I'm not going to pretend I'm a big philosopher, I'm just a pretty blond with a twisted sense of humour. One of the reasons for starting to write this diary is that I cannot tell my friends what I'm really up to. They know I'm looking for a BF/husband, and well, I am, sort of ;) So I need a place to gather my thoughts, ask for advice, share my experiences and just simply to say stuff "out loud".

I won't pretend anything, I will say everything just the way I think. I might come off as an arrogant and needy bitch, but so be it. I'm old enough to take responsibility of my own actions and I'm the only one to live with myself and my decisions. I know that in reality I'm gentle, loyal, respectful and kind, hopefully it shines through some of my texts =)

Please let me know what would you want to read more about, know more about me and so on. Comments are always welcome!
AdrianeSB

The lonely weekends and suddenly... two pots!

The thing I must get used to are the lonely weekends. Of course I'll meet my friends and family, but with sugar dating, the weekends are off-limit with married men. On the other hand it's a very good deal, it's my own time and I don't have to worry that some SD would get upset of not being in touch. Ok, I don't even have a SD yet, but still...

So on Saturday I went shopping with a friend and we had a bottle of wine with lunch, naughty us. On Sunday I just lounged in my PJ's, vacuumed and washed the laundry. And went to check a chat room known to attract "this kind of business".

And oh my, what did I find! First I chatted with a gentleman from my hometown, he's 58, single, been divorced for 3 years and wants to meet on the weekends, as on the weekdays he's just too busy. He would love to take me on weekend get-aways (oh Paris, here I come), go to the theatre, see art exhibitions, wine & dine me. And most importantly, spoil me rotten. All the things I love! But as it seems to be a pattern for me, he left on a business trip today and will be back on Saturday next week. He promised to e-mail me next week and we'll set up a date for Sunday. He was a bit hesitant with the allowance, but was very willing to contribute otherwise, so why not let him buy me things I really need and would buy with the allowance anyway. Let's see how this goes.

Then later today I talked with a very sophisticated gentleman living in San Francisco, he visits my hometown once a month and travels all over Europe regularly. He would love to fly me to where ever he's in Europe and occasionally to New York and SF. Oh the dream! And every time he's in town, he stays at the most luxurious hotel in the city, ooh I love it already. We said bye bye's amicably and he definitely wants to meet me when he's in town in April.

Oh how I hope neither one of them poofs on me before we have met!

Poof Poofie Poof and TallBlondSD

I renewed my ad on the site, because the pots are just disappearing as quickly as they come and I can't count on HottieSD, even though how interested he is. But once again only poof-daddies emerge. I send e-mails here and there, everyone's interested, but then not one promise materializes.

One pot originating from Januarys ad on the regular dating site still keeps in contact. He's 51 and a CEO of his own consulting company. He's been super busy with business trips and then he was off to a skiing holiday with his kids. But when he got back in town, he himself contacted me to schedule a lunch. I was very excited as we had gotten to know each other quite well and share a lot of same interests. But then the day before our lunch he cancels!

He's having second thoughts as he "can't promise enough of his time, as he has been living for his work and the kids for so long, he's not sure he is able to commit to me as well as I would deserve". What a wonderful thought, but I'm not looking for a husband! So I write him a soothing e-mail explaining how everything would be on his terms and according to his timetables. I won't need him constantly, I would just love to make him feel happy and wanted and the moments we would share, would be full of stressfree fun and smiles. Happily he saw the light and now we are meeting next week for lunch. Can't wait!

Yayyy, HottieSD delivers!

And just as he promised, we have been e-mailing and texting while he has been abroad. He's very interested in meeting me for finalizing the deal. He was a bit eager to talk about sex, but I kept it very professional (oops not the best expression) and didn't get into any steamy e-mailing. Just explained my preferences and lo and behold, we definitely have one thing in common. He got super excited after that, but hasn't said a word about his budget, but I'll wait for the next meeting for that.

Even though the allowance is one of my motivations for this search, it is not the main motivation. I'm looking for the right chemistry, for the right person to have a meaningful NSA relationship. We have a definitive connection, so I can only hope we come to good terms with the arrangement. He wants to meet regularly and take me with him on his travels, and that would suit me fine. I love travelling!

The tricky art of allowance

As I realized the arrangement really could come true with HottieSD, I started to panic about the allowance discussion. I know the formula, rent + bills + some extra, but what then. What about if he wants to see me twice a week? What about this and that... I know what sum would cover my living expences, I have read the blogs, searched the archives and still I'm stumped. Thankfully Lily helped me out again. All I can do carefully ask about his budget and go from there. I can't be too greedy as it might drive him away and I really would prefer a longterm arrangement. Once again, the chemistry has to be there, otherwise I couldn't be with him anyway. I'm not starving, so I don't need to be desperate for money.

So I did what I always do when in doubt, I take my notebook and write down a plan. Once a week = xxxx euros, twice a week = xxxx euros, and so on. This really cleared my head and I can confidently talk about money with the pots. And yes, I shredded the pages =)